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Learn failure as an experience

Even in world class university or best education system does not teach you how to face failure and deal with it productively. Failure is considered as an embarassment to many and a secret that isn’t discussed in public openly for fear people might think inferior about you. This is natural. It is a common traits.

Most people have been lead to believe that losing one’s job, not getting a merit bonus and not getting a promotion are in grave failures.

For example, suppose you got a job interview last week. You have just received an e-mail message from the company informing you that you have not been selected for the job. would it be fair to say you have failed? Or should we say that your performance in that interview failed.

If you think you have failed as a person, then you will label yourself as a failure and generalise this to other situations. If you feel that failure is due to something internal – your abilities for instance. You might feel hopeless, helpless, and depressed. For example if you have a MBA or in other degree discipline field and you continously update yourself by reading widely and strive to improve your knowledge. You took a driving test and have failed. Does it means your other achievements do not count?

Not necessarily so.

Failure is a judgement about events. Attribute your behaviour to a specific behaviour. Learn to say, “I did not fail but my behaviour failed me”.

Failure is not a comdemnation of character and is not a permanent condition. All of us constantly reinterpret our failures with different purpose. Do not blame other people for our failures. It is a role learning that we have to strive for “improvement not perfection”. Each failure has different purpose, problem solving and specification. It is better to take failure as an experience rather than resisting to failures or you won’t be able to improve in the long run. Accepting defeat is better than facing more problems later in life. It is better to accept challenge and be more resilient to face it rather than running away.

5 common cause for failures are:

1) Poor social skills
Biggest reason are interpersonal skills or social intelligence is one of the most important skill to acquire.

2) Wrong crowd
Sometimes you might be unable to adapt to circumstance. A successful career or in everyday life requires a match of your abilities, personaility style and values with culture.

3) Low self-esteem
Those who lack commitment slot themselves emotionally and tend to avoid risks. They have a job but often wonder why they are not doing better. If you have a half-hearted commitment and a fear of failure is a self-esteem which seems to be lacking. Failures destroy self-esteem and self-esteem can promote failures.

4) Destructive pattern
If you have a repeated mistake in life. Write down the particulars of the incident of the last few months in writing or journals which you have experienced in the past. There are cycle of self-destructive behaviour. In life most of us never see a pattern of what we do.

5) Lack of focus
By trying to do everything we fail to focus one thing at a time. People can fail to set priorities. It is common to degrade failure at something means you have tried. A good learning experience. Try to step abit back and relook at failures and ask yourself what lesson can be learned. In my case study, it is relatively true that many successful people have build their success on failures.

So get rid of failures and embrace boldly. Nothing to be ashamed of. This is life and failure is a function of personal growth and changes. It is often true that we often don’t have the best solution at hand but sometimes when you know it, it can have the resource for you to study the failures as a learning role.

Do kindly take unjust criticism as a disguised compliment. Successful people take responsibilty for their own action and lives.

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