What surprising thing that holds you back?

Oh my goodness, Year 2018

Today is the day that I decided to check my ohiit personal web log and wow I haven’t updated in years since 2013. Oh my goodness that it flew to May 2018.

Speaking to myself “Oh Incomprehensible Intelligent Thoughts (OHIIT)” what the hell are you doing for the past 4 years.”

Long story short, been busy with personal life, married life and I got married and have a child. My baby daughter. Oh…what the heck am I doing and it seems that the years flew by just like that and I am advancing in age. Seriously!! I don’t know why I am here for but am to express my personal thoughts out onto the web since I hate writing with a pen and a paper since technology is so advanced nowadays and people are glued onto the mobile screen typing away with fast nibble fingers. Especially FaceBook are so entertaining. DANG IT!!

How awesome is that? But one thing is the same old me. I previously quit my boring job as IT Engineer in October 2017. Previously took a big break and flew to Hong Kong to see my wife and my daughter as they are there to spend more time with my mother-in-law. My MIL is diagnosed with 4th stage liver cancer and haven’t much time to live. I am glad and thankful that I got to spend those 3 month of Dec 2017, Jan & Feb 2018 being with them and bonding times which are precious moments.

I have MAD respect for my mother-in-law for being a strong woman despite all those cancer that is eating her liver up and yet she continue to cook and fed us well during my stay there those 3 months. But alas last 1st April 2018 my mother in law passed away suddenly in hospital. I took the quickest flight to Hong Kong to see my mother-in-law and at the same time was on Face-time with my wife which showed me about her mother dying on the deathbed with her eye and mouth wide open. I can’t imagine what it was like but painful to watch like that. We all cried. The next week we have to plan out the funeral and settle everything. Took another 2 month stay which is April and May 2018 there in Hong Kong to help my wife to settle everything especially taking care of my baby daughter which she is now a toddler month old while she do other important stuffs.

There is one big difference between Hong Kong and Singapore funeral is that HK has limited space and need to set a date to hold a proper funeral in a proper casket according to HK law but in SG the funeral can be planned out the next day the quickest possible because it can be held in void deck of HDB in Singapore. Some people said Hong Kong funeral can take a few months to settle. Lucky we took 3 weeks to prepare for her mother funeral and another month to settle her mother ashes to be scattered at H.K. Chinese Christian Churches Union Pokfulam Road Cemetery which is at Hong Kong Island.

Hong Kong Chinese Christian Pokfulam Cemetery

Hong Kong Chinese Christian Pokfulam Cemetery


Arrival of 2014

It seems now is the 7th day of January 2014. How fast time can run past you? It indeed flew past me like a breeze and I definitely will still remember the year 2013 where I get to experience the heartaches, harshest decision making of my life. It is still etched in my memory. The year 2013 that are so unforgettable that rode some bumps. Bad decision and mistakes are a learning experience for me and I am gonna review this feedback of mine.

I hope to personally set my record straight and review my personal goals and break some obstacles and level up some tough decision this January month. Negativity and anger is the worst enemy that can creep into my mind but I gotta somehow need to block it from coming back. Looks like there are some funds that has depleted my cash-flow very quickly. Gotta get this personal finance in order this year. Got to cut back some unnecessary insurance.

And finally long distance relationship is something I get to learn and experience sweetest and sourest moments. Being in a real BGR (boy & girl relationship) has taught me alot of things especially LDR (long distance relationship) which is by far the most difficult hurdle. Communication and language culture barriers are the toughest without any physical touch. But after all it has some its good side. A real relationship always has fights, tears and hurts but has trust, faith. Has sweet smiles and also coupled with genuine laughter. Has weird, stupid, unnecessary arguments. Has patience. Has communication. Has secrets. Has jealousy and most importantly it has LOVE.

Finally of all and anyone wants to face true life’s experience. Let go of fears.


Arrival of December 2013

Looks like my life is being very personal and it holds nothing else. Detailing my life is my personal favourite. Truly time make friends comes and go. I am not blogging to please everybody because everyone have different personality but you can try to relate yourself first. Every choices are vastly different. My only concern is how positive anyone can be and only then friends or foe are welcome to be around me and enjoy my sharing session. That is all I ask for. I have a simple truth to life’s meaning. Be happy at doing what you want and truly love the people for who they are. Most importantly of all life training and improving your mindset along the way since it can strengthen and mould you to be the true human being with enriching education.

Sometimes at work, I always pore around for motivation. But I realised one thing, it don’t last long but only for a moment that drives you only temporary. The answer comes with you to discover the true meaning of life’s discovery. That means only you have the decision to design your life. I am there to support and provide you guidance from Point A to B and so on. Life has no quick answer and shortcuts. You have to walk your own path and only the answer will appear before you. I am not the person to change you. You are able to not me alone. I am a personal life coach that helps you to guide your decision that you have already developed. I believe my sharing can help you awaken your true passion. If not then there are more to sharing session. That was my true purpose of D.Y.L (Design Your Life) with goal-setting and decision making. This life education is a journey of your self-discovery which can be adjusted according to your own life plan.

The year 2014 is nearing soon. Looking back to 2010, I knew life moving forward changes people who believe in improving themselves for the better and those who wants to lead by example. At least people who have walked that path will know the answer. Sometimes thoughts talking to you are something you should not believe but do the opposite direction and you will be able to discover the answer. Decision making is how the fathomable truly understand the life creation itself.

Have a great 2014 ahead.

Women Value Relationships, Men Value Work

Modern society is a mere blip on the screen of human evolution. Hundreds of thousands of years of living in traditional roles has left modern men and women with brain circuitry that causes most of our relationship problems and misunderstandings. Men have always defined themselves by their work and accomplishments and women define their own self-worth by the quality of their relationships. A man is a lunch-chaser and problem solver – this has to be his priority for survival. A woman is a nest defender – her role was to ensure survival of the next generation. All the studies conducted on male and female values in the 1990s continued to show that 70%-80% of men everywhere still say that the most important part of their lives is their work and 70%-80% of women say the most important priority is their families. As a consequence,

If a woman is unhappy in her relationships, she can’t concentrate on her work. If a man is unhappy at work he can’t focus on his relationships.

Under stress or pressure, a woman sees spending time talking with her man as a reward, but a man sees it as an interference in his problem-solving process. She wants to talk and cuddle, and he wants to watch the football. To a woman, he seems uncaring and disinterested and a man sees her as annoying or pedantic. These perceptions are the reflections of the different organisation and priorities of their brains. This is why a woman always says that the relationship seems more important to her that it does to him – it is. Understanding this difference will take the pressure off you and your partner, and you will not judge each other’s behavior harshly.

Extracted from Why Men Don’t Listen & Women Can’t Read Maps, pg147.

Men Talk Silently to Themselves

Men evolved as warriors, protectors and problem solvers. Their brain bias and social conditioning prevent them from showing fear or uncertainty. This is why, when a man is asked to solve a problem, he will often say, ‘Can you leave it with me?’ or ‘I’ll think it over.’ And that exactly what he does – he thinks it over silently, with an expressionless face. Only when he has the answer will he speak or look animated to show he is ready to communicate the solution. Men talk mainly inside their heads because they don’t have the verbal capability that women have to use words externally for communication. When a man is sitting staring out of a window, a brain scan shows that he is having a conversation with himself – inside his head. When a women sees a man doing this, she assumes that he’s bored or idle, and tries to talk to him or give him something to do. A man will often become angry when interrupted. As we know, he can’t do more than one thing at once.

Extracted from pg82, Why Men Don’t Listen & Women Can’t Read Maps ~ by Allan & Barbara Pease

The Greatest Tragedy In Life

Millions of people come into this world and leave this world and never ever realize or develop their full powers and potential. They bargained in life for a penny, and life would pay no more, not realizing that any wage they would have asked of life – life would have gladly paid. Some of those people never even tried, they just settled for mediocrity. Others, got a dream, an idea, a desire or goal, and decided to go for it, but then dropped out when the going got tough. There are many starters in life, but very few finish. Too many people give up on their dreams too soon in life.

No matter what the level of our ability, we have more potential than we can ever develop in a lifetime. Deep within every man and woman dwells those slumbering powers; powers that would astonish them, which they never dreamed of possessing; forces that would revolutionize their life if aroused and put into action.

Potential means: undeveloped — and unrealized — Powers, Possibilities, and Capabilities — that can — but have not yet come into being. In other words, the best is yet to come! You have powers and talent you have not developed or used yet. You also have dreams and fantasies you have not realized yet. Your unlimited possibilities are still alive, just waiting for you to give them power.

Tough Times Never Last – But Tough People Do.

How would you like to see a permanent end to all of your problems? We all have problems – and our problems only end – when we do. The only people without problems are in the cemetery.  I’d like to stick around – problems and all. How about you?

No matter what problems you have to face today, there is a solution, because you have nothing to deal with but your own thoughts. As long as you think that your destiny is in the hands of other people, the situation is hopeless. You will need to confront your problems with courage, boldness and action.

There’s an old Chinese saying that goes, “If you live with a problem long enough, it could eventually become a blessing.” Within every adversity in life, there is always a seed of an equivalent or greater benefit. We have to look for it – find it – and act on it.

We learn courage – when we face danger. We learn patience – when we endure suffering. We learn tenderness – when we taste pain. We learn to prize true friends – when false ones forsake us. We treasure health – when illness strikes. We learn to prize freedom -when we are in danger of losing it. Without trouble we would be like plants that have sprouted, grown, and been nurtured in the overprotected shelter of a hothouse — too tender ever to live in the open. How can you possibly become a strong person, if you have an easy life? The tougher it is, the tougher you have a chance to become – if you choose to fight back.

When you see a highly decorated military person all dressed up with rows of battle ribbons and awards on their chest, you are looking at someone who courageously faced and conquered danger, hardships, adversities, problems, life-threatening situations, torture, injury, and heartbreak, watching their buddies die terrible deaths. These people had fortitude – the ability to endure and last. They wouldn’t quit, give up or run away. Yes there were times, I’m sure they knew, when they bit off more than they could chew, but through it all when there was doubt – they ate it up – and spit it out – the records show – they took the blows – and did it their way.  We don’t just get the sweet out of life without the bitter – we’d like to, but we don’t. The sun doesn’t always shine; sometimes there are storms, tornadoes, earthquakes, car accidents, fires and death. No one escapes the problems of life. If it doesn’t happen sooner in life, it will happen later.

We can overcome just about any problem, obstacle, or adversity that life deals us – if we have a strong enough will. Where there is a will, there is a way. Create a “bull-dog” determination and a “burning desire,” that will eventually mow down all opposition.

“Success is not measured by what a person accomplishes, but by the opposition they have encountered, and by the courage with which they have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds” ~ by Charles Lindberg.

Don’t pray for an easy life, without problems – pray to become a strong person. The higher you go in life, the more problems you will have to deal with.

(Overcoming Obstacles, Adversities and Discouragement) Book Excerpt From, “The Science Of Success Achievement Course”.

Information leaps at a fast pace

As I look at the month of August and Singapore National Day is over. So still I wish happy belated happy birthday to Singapore. What Singapore is now 48 years old? How lame?

Nowadays all the information filled so many contents throughout all the web. It seems to me that it has become so boring. Entertainment sometimes are fun and enjoyable while it last. New contents to feed the brain with stimulants to enjoy the fun things to keep the boredom away. Yeah, well what does it offer? Nothing in the end. LOL!! Funny things do end fast.

I have google alot for information and all over the news and mostly web news are duplicated everywhere from media to newspaper. YAWN!! I wish there were something that we can feast our eye on. Facebook is so overhyped and overused. No wonder I spend less time on Facebook probably 10 mins max per day. Nothing much to do there except updating status but I can tell it is a time waster. Seriously!! It benefits me nothing at all but meeting random people in real life is more of a learning curve and challenge than talking on social media like Twitter and Facebook, just click and send. YAWN!! I guess I need something exciting so therefore I am looking for things to fill the void sometimes.

So many stuffs like Tumblr, Instagram, WeChat, Whatsapp, Weibo, Renren and etc…are like a sweetener. Coating so many things to lure the online audience with things to look up. My blogs hasn’t been update for such a long time because I was busy with life. So many stuffs ongoing like looking for people to get feedbacks and get some inspiration for my blogs. Need to inject life into my personal website.

I hope someone online out there in cyberspace to StumbleUpon my website. I guess my blogs is such a block of text walls.  Hahaha… Till then have a great week ahead.

Get Great At Life

Life is a skill. And like any other skil, once you know the ground rules and make the time to practise, you can get better. Alot better. If you really devote yourself to life, you could even reach a place of mastery. Some have.

3 Simple things to do to get great at life:

1. PAY ATTENTION TO LIFE: Make the time to reflect on what you want your life to stand for, what you have learned from your years and what your legacy will be. Time slips through our fingers like grains of sand. Use your days to realise your talents.

2. ENGAGE IN LIFE: The only way to have a life is to commit like crazy.Set your goals. Make your plans. Take action and chase your dreams. That is what personal responsibility is all about. But once you have done your best, let go and let life do the rest.

3. ENJOY LIFE: We take life so seriously. But at the end, the billionaire gets buried next to the street sweeper. We all end up as dust. So let’s have some fun.

REFERENCE: The Greatness Guide by Robin Sharma Pg.141

A new day begins

It seems like I am slowly recovering from web hiatus. Alot of happenings going on. 3 times car incident from Feb 2013 to May 2013. Seriously, alot of things happening. But now I have started to see the views in a different angle. It actually becoming clearer and more positive.

On the other hand the boyfriend and girlfriend relationship seems to be on a rocky side. Seems there are times things have to be positively tackled carefully but at the same time we are growing each month.

Now I have come to a new life’s philosophy that explains:

If you don’t go after what you want, you will never have it.
If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.
If you don’t step forward, you are always in the same place.

Till then, I hope to see something new in the coming months.